


It's you, It's always been you

by Anxious_Apple



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bi-Curiosity, Character Study, Drunkenness, Gay Panic, M/M, Porn Watching, Supportive Stuart Highway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 00:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19937017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxious_Apple/pseuds/Anxious_Apple
Summary: After a conversation with Stuart and a quick hookup in the bathroom of the Vic Callum starts fighting against the strange new feelings he has growing inside. (To be proof-read and potentially rewritten)





	It's you, It's always been you

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, Stuart was the one to go to prison after the scuffle with Mick. He's changed, if only slightly.

Stuart Highway is becoming more and more unpredictable these days (Not that he's ever been _easy_ to understand) ever since his entanglement with Mick Carter, and the absolute mess that that ended up in, it's as if... almost as if... he's trying to be a better person. Something changed in his brain some switch was flicked in his head, people had it tough behind bars. He understood them now,  
  
He eyes his brother over a pint in the Queen Vic, although he's unlikely to drink it. Despite his rough exterior he's not even sure he likes the booze that much. The taste of it anyway, especially when it came back up. And now that's the only way he thinks of it. It's just a guise, a piece of armour against anyone bothering him. He's been here for an hour. Only now does he pluck up the courage to aproach his sibling.  
He smiles at Callum, knowing fully well he's cold behind the eyes. "Cal" He says, as soft as he can manage. Callum looks up from his own drink and feels an immediate rush of ice down his spine "Can I 'ave a word?" Stuart asks  
"'Spose" Callum responds after a heavy swallow. He's distant though, reluctant. And then Stuart notices where his gaze was lingering. Propping up the bar is that git Ben Mitchell.  
"Did he do summink' to ya'?" He asked, "Is he givin' you an 'ard time again?" Stuart places a surprisingly soft hand on his shoulder, like an actual brother should "Like I said. If he's givin' you trouble... I'll be the first to be on your side. The whole family are trouble, and I know you don't need no more of that in your life. Especially not now with Whit. You  
Callum shakes him off, and shakes his head "It's not like that Stu it's really not. There's no trouble"  
This confuses Stuart "Oh yeah? What is it _like_ then?"  
"We're mates, good mates" Callum defends himself  
Stuart however smirks, mirthlessly, not taken in. "Good mates wot give each other come to bed eyes whenever they see each other?"  
Callum's face drops "What?" He says, mouth dry and heart pounding fast against his ribcage. "  
"You might think I'm thick, but I'm not blind you know Cal, and neither's Whit. She'll figure it out sooner or later and you'll be for the high jump. Days before your weddin' an' all."  
"I-I don'" Callum's words won't come now, they seem to splutter from his mouth like sand.  
  
When he goes into the bathroom, the man he's trying so hard to avoid is there. Standing with his foot propped up on the wall behind him, like some sort of old fashioned prostitute waiting in an alley. "Saw you chattin' to big bro," He slurs. Great, Callum thinks with a sigh, Ben Mitchell is drunk again "you still tryin' to get him to screw me over?" He's sulking too, and pouting his lips. There's still a cheeky glint in his eye, not missing any to tease or place a quick witted inuendo  
"No" Callum says, deciding to ignore the pretty obvious bait.  
"I though' you 'ated him? I though' you said he was about to cause a fuss?"  
"He always does." Callum says, unable to keep the melancholy from tingeing his words. He's thinking back to the many times as a kid Stuart had messed up his life. He'd beaten up his best friend because he was playing imaginary games with him. And then there were the many teddy bears he'd lost over the years because they made him look gay (A which was used frequently as an insult when they were both growing up "You can always tell him to piss off." Ben says, stepping closer. The smell of carlsburg is stuck in the air between them like a mist "or I can" "He's trying to be a better bloke. A better brother. He's just looking out for me." Callum says, trying to make it sound believable. Even though he only half believes it himself. "Well it seems to me like that's making you rather unhappy." Despite his best efforts the tension is just too much. He'd been watching the other man for hours, just thinking how it would be for them to meet again, what exactly their next interaction might entail. The smell of Booze washes over Callum like a tidal wave and threatens to engulf him. Then they're kissing again, lips hot and heavy against each other.

* * *

They end up in the Prince Albert, nobody seems to notice them though. In fact it's pretty quiet being a thursday lunch time. There's still a barman there, more than willing for a few quid to let the two of them get even more slaughtered.

* * *

Later that night When he gets back to his flat Callum flicks open his laptop, fumbles for a few moments with his password and then goes straight to a porn website. It's not ordinarily something he does. Especially not with Whit around. It feels dirty, and like he's cheating on her. But now? With another bloke between them? And a bellyfull of cheap beer? Well now, he can only follow his gut. So compelled he types in "Gay"  
It's not cheating is it if it's on the internet? If he's not even involved? He just has to understand what he feels whenever he looks at Ben. What weird feeling stirs deep inside him, an animal desire pacing impatiently, and waiting to spring out and seize the other man by the waist. If it had only happened once, Out of the blue, like a bolt of lightning, he'd felt perfectly fine telling himself it meant nothing. But now, with a second notch of gay sex on his belt it felt different. A sneaking suspision that all this time he had been wrong about himself.


End file.
